two lost souls
by xRizzlesLovex
Summary: two lost souls - Sara and Catherine both in need of help before their actions kill them can someone help them? or will they finally be with each other and help each other? Rated M for use of language graphic chapters and girl on girl don't like don't read
1. Help me

**Okay so this is my third story i'm in the middle of writing, ****this one just seemed like a good idea its short to start with just a taster there will be more chapters added enjoy (:**

**Two lost souls**

**Chapter 1 - Help me**

Sara POV

I can't take it anymore! why is my life so shit ever since i moved to Vegas it's been one bad thing after the other, for one i'm getting more and more nightmares about when i was little like it doesn't play on my mind i have to constantly dream about it. I can't sleep and i'm 'forgetting' to eat well i say that but i just don't have the time what with work and drinking, yep that's right i've turned to drink yet again what more of a fuck up could i be?

To top it all off i had a massive argument with Catherine at work and again like i don't have enough of them! I've tried so hard to be nice to her let's face it i have feelings for her well more than that i think i love her, she doesn't know and she will never know, she's straight and she obviously hates me. Numerous times i've kept out of her way but she still finds a way to pick on me about something and i can't stand it anymore...

So here i am sat in the corner in my apartment drinking my life away, i've got nothing to live for, nobody and no one, hell i can't even keep a man interested in me what a bastard Hank was. I really should get some sleep but how can i, i've got so many things circulating in my head at the moment and everytime i try to sleep im scared about having a nightmare. Wow i actually admitted to myself about being scared, note to self never say anything like this in public.

Ahhhh fuck fuck fuck! damn my life, damn work and damn Catherine for being so fucking beautiful so that even though sha has ago at me and puts me down i still love her even though i shouldn't! as i down what feels like the twentieth beer i've which it probably is i can't stop thinking please some _Help me_

Catherine POV

I really shouldn't be doing this i've got a daughter that means the world to me and a job i worked my ass off to get and quite frankly friends and family who love me but fuck it i can't take it anymore. Lindsey my daughter means everything to me i would literally do anything for her yet she hates me at the moment well it feels that way anyway, she doesn't talk to me, she doesn't want to be around and she always screams im never there for her, to be honest it's true work takes over my world but i've got to really try and make it up with her starting tomorrow. At the moment i just have to do this to release the pressure that's building up inside me and to top it off i think i've fallen for the one and only Sara Sidle, yes the woman i always argue with and at work i really went for it we had this huge bust up and it was all my fault! Why do i do this to myself i can see she's trying to be nice to me yet i throw it in myself, i god help me for saying this i think i love her but she will never know this i pushed her too far.

I'm a total bitch and no wonder people don't want to talk to me, i've been having trouble sleeping and i can tell by the way people have been looking at me at work they can tell, i look like shit and that does not happen to me i really need to try and sleep before work and before i try and fix things up with Lindsey, hell i might think about patching it up with Sara, i really want to try...

As i push the razor blade deeper into my arms and moving it across my previous scars on my stomach i sit on my bathroom floor shaking and crying whilst bleeding thinking oh god please someone _Help me_

**So did you like it? if so review please...**_  
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	2. Please

**Chapter 2 - Please**

Catherine had actually managed to get some sleep even if it was uncomfortable on the bathroom floor that is where she stayed, she woke up to feeling a hell of a lot of pain and of course that was because of the self harming, she didn't want anybody to know that she self harmed everyone who knew her thinks she's a tough bitch and she thought people would make fun or start fussing around her if they knew. So there was Catherine standing up and looking at herself in the mirror

"ergh my god what have i done to myself" Catherine stared at her fresh cuts on her arms and stomach she was angry with her self for sinking so low as to hurt her body the one thing she had going for her (she thought).

She was totally and utterly devastated in her self, she promised herself she wouldn't do it anymore but more and more she would find herself with a razor blade in her bathroom. Catherine got dressed picking out specific clothes that would cover up her arms and she headed downstairs to make breakfast for Lindsey and then take her to school.

"Hey Lindsey baby, what do you want for breakfast?"

"I've already had some since your never around i figured i'd make myself some"

"Lindsey please don't start i can't argue with you anymore please" Catherine was begging her daughter it was really bringing her down,

"Whatever mum can you just take me to school please"

Catherine sighed whilst going to get her keys and heading for the door to her car where Lindsey already was, the drive was silent and when they arrived at the school Lindsey was about to make her way out of the car before Catherine turned round and pulled her in for a hug and started crying whilst trying to speak to her,

"Linds please..can we stop arguing...i love you so much you mean the world to me i'll try be round more you i promise"

Catherine was near enough sobbing at this point and Lindsey could see she had hurt her mum,

"It's okay mum i'm sorry i love you too i've gotta go see you later"

Lindsey gave her mum a kiss on the cheek and left, Catherine feeling alot better managed to stop crying and she headed off home to see if she could catch up on a bit of sleep.

Catherine woke up to the sound of her phone ringing inside she was screaming because she knew what was coming,

"Willows"

"Hi, Catherine it's Grissom sorry but i need you in now we've just got a big case i've already called in the rest of the team"

"Okay i'll be there as soon as i can"

And with that she put the phone thinking if there was a god he would at least let her have a decent sleep, she showered and got ready to go to work walking out the door she rang her sister Nancy up to see if she would be able to pick Lindsey up from school since she realised if it was a big case she wouldn't be home anytime soon. Nancy said yes to picking up Lindsey and letting her stay at hers which Catherine was extremely greatful and she asked Nancy to tell Lindsey that she was sorry.

Catherine arrived at work and she saw that everyone elses cars were there, she headed into the break room where she knew everyone would be waiting for her. She was right she walked in to find Warrick and Nick sat down and Sara making coffee and Grissom standing, she was greeted by the team and Sara suprisingly made her a cup of coffee which went down a treat.

"Right i'm gonna cut to the chase we've got a serial killer on our hands, killing brunettes mid 20s the killer stabs 6 times in the chest then carves 666 on there foreheads weird i know, i've got the crime scene for Warrick and Nick and you two Sara and Catherine will be working in the lab looking and processing through the evidence okay"

The team nodded, Warrick and Nick left the room to get to the crime scene and Sara and Catherine were left in the breakroom,

"Weird case we've got here let's hope we can catch the killer before they strike again" Sara plainly said to Catherine,

Catherine nodded,

"Hey, Cath you okay? you seem upset, distracted" Sara put her hand on Catherine's arm she wouldn't normally of done this but she felt for the woman obviously, Catherine whimpered at the touch and pulled away, Sara was confused did she just hurt the woman she loved? how did she hurt her? Sara turned round to ask Catherine but she was gone.

Sara went to find Catherine and she was in her office sat on the floor crying, Sara shut the door and sat down next to Catherine she was confused about how Catherine was acting it wasn't like her,

"Cath, what's wrong did i hurt you?"

"No"

"Well tell me what's wrong please i care about you"

Catherine slowly stood up and lifted her jumper off showing a short sleeved top but Sara was more interested in the fresh cut's she could see on Catherine's arms, her eye's widened she knew she needed help but Cath no way she didn't want to admit it,

"Jesus christ Catherine what have you done to yourself!"


	3. Promises

******Here's another chapter enjoy :)**

**Chapter 3 - Promises**

Catherine looked up at Sara with tears in her eyes,

"I don't know Sara! i just can't cope with everything going on in my life at the moment, i feel like im ripping apart inside!" Catherine started hitting her fist on the table then fell to the floor shaking and crying frantically.

Sara's eyes saddened and she walked towards Cather ine picked her up off the floor and carried her over to the couch in Catherine's office, it was then Sara knew Catherine needed to be comforted and held her arms around Catherine,

"Shh it's alright now Cath i'm here, i'll help you through this i promise i don't want you hurting that beautiful body of yours please" Sara was begging at this point,

"But how can you help i don't mean it bitchy Sara but it's me who's got a problem i know you've been back on the drink, everyone knows"

Sara let go of Catherine and cupped her hand to Catherine's cheek,

"Okay, fair point and i know i've got problems and i need to sort them out so if you promise me this will stop i will promise to you to stop drinking, i know it's going to be hard but if we help eachother i know we can do it, i care about you Catherine believe it or not i do really care"

Catherine looked shocked and happy at the same time, her head was spinning even more now first Sara said she had a beautiful body and now she said she cared about her, Catherine was beginning to feel a little happier now and this promise sounded like a good idea she didn't want to disappoint the woman she loved,

"Sara, i think that's a good idea and you have no idea how much it means to me to hear that you care, i care about you too believe me, is there any chance i could get another hug it's just it felt so good i need some comfort" Catherine blushed slightly and Sara smiled and opened her arms for Catherine.

They stayed this way for 10 minutes before Sara wanted to know the reasons why Catherine was self harming,

"Cath i want to ask you why you are self harming, what you can't cope with you don't have to tell me i just want to help"

Catherine sighed she knew this was coming and she knew she had to tell Sara the truth,

"My daughter hates me, she doesn't speak to me she shouts at me telling me i'm never there for her, everyone at work thinks i'm a high class bitch and i'm not i swear and...i'm in love with someone who doesn't have any idea and it's killing me inside i need to tell them but i'm too much of coward to do it! i'm not very good at coping and this just gave me the release i needed i didn't know what else to do and now i'm so ashamed of myself it's unreal"

"Catherine listen to me now you are a good mother i've seen you with Lindsey, she's a great kid too smart for age but that's a good thing and even though she shouts at you i know she understands that you have to work and that you are there for her trust me, as for people round here some of them may think your a high class bitch but they don't know the real you, your closest friends know you well you may be a bitch but your good at it" Sara winked at Catherine who laughed,

"And that person your in love with, if it's hurting you that much you should tell them you never know they might feel the same way it's worth a try"

Catherine smiled warmly at Sara,

"thanks, Sara what you said really meant alot to me, you've actually made me feel alot better about myself what do you say about heading off to mine after shift and me making you some breakfast, it's the least i can do to say thankyou for not running away and helping me and belive it or not i like your company Sidle" Catherine carried her smile out at Sara which was sent back at her,

"I'd love to Cath after shift i'll meet you out front"

The two women stood up and gave each other a hug before they left Catherine's office.

After hours at work it was end of the shift and both women had been excited to be spending time with eachother, Sara met Catherine outside and she followed Catherine behind in her car. When they arrived at Catherine's house she told Sara to make herself at home whilst she made some breakfast,

"You really do have a lovely house Cath beats by apartment any day"

Catherine chuckled lightly at Sara

"Thanks Sara, here i made you some coffee"

They both sat at the table and talked about everything and anything, they had breakfast and a number of coffee's and before Catherine knew it, it was time to pick Lindsey up,

"Hey Sara i've gotta pick Lindsey up but i would really love it if you were still here when i come back please" Sara could see Catherine's eyes plead at her and she couldn't say no plus she was enjoying the talking,

"Yeah sure Cath i'll be here only if it's not too much trouble i mean we still need to sleep"

"Right yeah of course you can stay in the guest if you want, you can borrow some of my clothes there's some in my room, top of the stairs to the right i'll see you in 15"

Catherine leaned over to Sara and to Sara's surprised kissed her on the cheek.

"Bye Cath and thanks"

Sara went up to Catherine's room and started to look for some clothes but got a little distracted by some of Catherine's sexy lingerie and she didn't realise how long she was staring at it thinking dirty thoughts, Catherine had come back from picking up Lindsey and Lindsey was downstairs having something to eat, so Catherine was wondering where Sara was and had been standing at the doorway to her room watching Sara holding her lingerie. All kinds of thoughts were passing through Catherine's head, 'does she like me?' 'what is she doing?' 'Oh my god' before Sara could find out about Catherine being there, Catherine had moved downstairs to think about what she had just seen.

Sara went downstairs to find Catherine and Lindsey in the kitchen,

"Oh hey sorry i didn't know you were back, hey Lindsey"

"Hi Sara, Mum said you were here are you stopping tonight, that would be really fun we could watch a bunch of movies"

"Yeah i am kid and that sounds awesome"

"Cool i'm gonna go pick some films now" Lindsey smiled excitedly at Sara,

Sara and Catherine were left standing in the kitchen in pure silence, Catherine took a deep breath she knew it had to be now, she was scared but there was something she felt, an instinct maybe...

"Sara it's you...your the one i love"

**You know what to do if you liked it ... review please :D**


	4. Truth is Out

**Another chapter uploading quite fast but not so many reviews :O c'mon guys need inspiration ;) thanks for reading, oh and there is sex in this chapter don't know if it's any good if it's not i apologise in advance lol...**

**Chapter 4 - Truth is Out**

"Sara it's you...your the one i love"

Complete silence filled the kitchen and looked up at Catherine in complete shock, never in her wildest dreams could she believe what Catherine had just said it had to be a joke right?

"Sara say something please, i..i'm sorry i never should of said anything"

Sara was trying to get words to form but it wasn't working until Catherine said she should go home,

"No Cath, sorry i'm just shocked that's i never would have thought this, the woman i love says she loves me, oh my god it's amazing"

Catherine turned her head at Sara in shock,

"What did you just say Sara"

"Urm, i never meant to say that out loud"

"It doesn't matter what did you say" Catherine asked with force,

"The woman i love says she loves me okay, i love you Cath i have for years i just thought you were straight so i never anything, you are the most beautiful woman i've ever laid eyes on, everytime we argued i was utterly depressed going back to drink my feelings are so strong for you, when you were upset at work i knew you needed comforting i was gonna tell you there and then but i couldn't, guess i should of used my own advice, it felt incredible having you in my arms and when you asked me to come back here to yours, how could i not say no being with you, your company it's amazing i feel like a completely different person not this depressed fuck up, i love you Catherine Willows"

Catherine burst into tears,

"Sara...that is...the nicest and most honest speech...someone has ever given me"

Sara walked over to Catherine and hugged her,

"I can't believe this is happening Cath"

"Me either i love you Sara"

"I love you too Catherine"

"Oh my god this is awesome! Mum and Sara together yesss!" Lindsey whispered to herself on the stairs after listening to the two women in the kitchen,

"Lindseeey! have you chose some films yet" Catherine shouted up to her daughter,

"Sara i think we need to talk later, Lindsey said about going to her friends tonight"

"Yeah, i agree" Sara smiled at Catherine and kissed her on the cheek, Catherine had closed her eyes during this and had somewhat forgotten to open them,

"You okay Cath?"

"Mhmmm just dandy"

Sara chuckled at Catherine's last words and then Lindsey appeared with two of her favourite Disney films and the three of them went into the living room to watch the films, Sara sat next to Catherine secretly holding hands whilst Lindsey lay on the floor. The film finished and Lindsey was off to her friends before she went she thanked Sara for being there and in the car told Catherine she was really happy that they all spent time together, Catherine had arrived back and it was time for talking to Sara.

They sat in the kitchen and Catherine started off the conversation,

"Sara, i cannot believe you feel the same way i've felt this way towards you for ages i just kept pushing you away and away and i don't know why, it put me down so much with this and everything else in my life thats why i...well you know but after what you told me to say to tell the person that i love how i felt and earlier i saw you holding some of lingerie i had a instinct that maybe you felt the way well i hoped anyway so i went out and told you, really Sara i am over the moon that you feel the same way, words can't describe it and i know it may sound early but i do love you and i would love to be in a relationship with you"

Sara blushed at the lingerie part she didn't realise Catherine had noticed,

"I want to be in a relationship with you too Catherine i love you more than you could ever imagine, this relationship is going to work but first Cath i need you to promise me you wont self harm anymore" Sara asked Catherine sternly,

"I promise i wont as long as you quit your drinking babe and plus i don't have a reason to anymore i've got my life back with a little extra..." Catherine stood up and walked over to Sara she had been wanting to do this for a while and the moment was perfect, Catherine captured Sara's lips with her own, she gently pushed her tounge into Sara's mouth which erupted moans from both women, they eventually had to part and Catherine finished her sentence,

"that little extra is you Sara you are beautiful"

They kissed again this time more passionately and Catherined yearned for Sara's body and unbuttoned Sara's shirt but was stopped,

"Babe are you sure you want to do this, i mean i want to"

"I want to as well, i want you screaming my name Sara Sidle Mmm"

Sara gulped, her heart was beating faster by the minute she took Catherine into her arms and picked her up,

"Cath..where's your bedroom?"

"Upstairs baby to the right"

Sara took Catherine up to her room and when they entered Catherine took Sara's shirt off and her bra she stood their in awe at the beautiful body in front of her, Catherine pushed Sara onto her bed and started straddling her.

Catherine started playing with Sara's breasts sucking and teasing her nipples,

"Mmm Cath your clothes will have to go gorgeous"

Sara switched positions and was now straddling Catherine and she took Cath's top, bra and trousers off she was distracted for a moment by the scars on her lovers stomach but dismissed it until after, Sara started licking, biting and sucking on Catherine's nipples she knew she was teasing her big time and was loving every mintue of it, to have Cath wanted her was an amazing feeling.

Catherine let out a moan and her breathing was becoming more erratic by the minute,

"Sara baby please stop teasing me i need you now!" Catherine was struggling to get her words out due to the amount of teasing, Sara licked her way down Catherine's body gently kissing her scars and she gently caressed Catherine's thighs everytime going closer to where Catherine wanted her and hearing moans from her but Sara pulled away, she could hear Catherine's pleas and finally Sara opened Catherine's legs and started licking her clitoris rewarded by loud moans, Sara thrusted two fingers inside Catherine and slow at first whispering dirty things in Catherine's ear.

Catherine's breathing was far over erratic now and Sara noticed this and went faster,

"Cath, your so fucking sexy and wet for me, look at me Cath and cum for me"

Catherine had managed to open her eyes to look at her lover and she was sent over the edge it was bliss the first word which come to Catherine's mind pure bliss, no one had ever managed to make her feel like this she screamed Sara's name in pleasure,

"Oh my god Sara that was amazing, more than amazing i actually have no words to desribe it no one has ever made me feel like that"

Sara smiled at Catherine and kissed her whilst gently caressing her face,

"that was my dream come true, you screaming my name it was sexy, you are sexy Cath"

They kissed again and Catherine parted and said to Sara,

"I seem to remember me saying i wanted you screaming my name first baby"

Catherine quickly started straddling Sara again and she could feel how wet Sara was for her through Sara's trousers,

"Oo Sara you are so wet is that for me?"

Sara's breathing quickly became out of control this was what Catherine did to her and all she could do was nod, one minute she could speak the next she couldn't, Catherine noticed this and smiled.

Catherine took off all off Sara's clothes and began with kissing her all over her body, she sucked and licked her nipples, she wanted to tease Sara as much as she teased her and she was certainly doing it.

"Cath fuck me please mm" Sara was begging Catherine she was virtually on the edge and Catherine could sense it,

"You want me to fuck you Sara tell me how baby"

"Fast Cath fast"

Catherine thrusted two fingers inside Sara then a third she fucked her fast and Sara let go and screamed Catherine's name so loud the neighbours would of heard,

"Oh my gooood Catherine that was amazing"

The two women kissed and feeling each others bodies, and lay in each others arms and fell asleep...

**So happy ending to the chapter (: tell me what you think**


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